Journal 9.11.21

Journal 9.11.21

I woke up at 4:15 am from an uncomfortable feeling with my sinuses. I checked in on social media and then played 2 games of chess.

There is something whether odd about how we must constantly feed ourselves information. There was no social media during my adolescent years; I’m grateful, because I often wonder if we are taking in too much information. And often, the information we receive is negative.

I can’t help but to feel the pain of losing members from my running club. Not just any members, but two of the finest young runners I’ve ever coached. I stay up late thinking if there is something I could’ve done differently. There wasn’t. This is the difficult part about coaching. We, coaches, become attached to the kids we develop. It is like planting a seed, watching the the flower grow, but suddenly it is snatched up from the soil and longer in your sight.

If I am the water, for the flower, no longer do I have a purpose. If I am the dirt, from which the flower shoots from, no longer do I have a purpose. Maybe I should plant more seeds or maybe I should only concern myself with my growing, my development.

That is the early morning issue.

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